Wednesday 5 August 2009

Guilt

When I was pregnant I remember telling everyone how I was worried about how the Bubble would react to another baby in the house.
And now two weeks in, with everything going along at a normal enough pace with himself back at work, the Bubble at nursery and me permanently attached to the sofa feeding the wee man, I feel nothing but guilty.
It's not just towards the Bubble that this guilt is troubling me, I also feel guilty for not being as attentive to himself. At this time when I need lots of hugs, I can't give that many of them out and seem to have even less time to receive them.
I seem to spend alot of my time saying 'No' to both Bubble and "No' to himself, when he tries to load the washing machine with a white load and one trouble making red towel.
At the minute, I still have six months left of maternity leave left and I'm already beginning to fret about returning to work! This is madness and a true sign of my stupid pre-childbirth emotional brain because I was SO ready to head off to work again after the Bubble. This time it's different because I want to win the lottery and live in a bubble with just the Bubble, the wee man and himself. That wold be good, and maybe I wouldn't feel so guilty then.

2 comments:

Claire said...

Oh Em it seems to me parenthood is all about guilt - you're damned if you do and damned if you don't! All any of us can do is muddle through and hope that doing our best is good enough! Bubble knows that you love her and so does 'himself'; this adjustment period will pass and you will find a new rhythm that suits you all. And as for work, you don't HAVE to come back in 6 months, you could make it 8! But try not to think about that now, just take each day as it comes and enjoy your little ones as much as you can. Love ya x

jen said...

I hope things are settling for you now. i can empathis my little ones are 17 months and 8 weeks now and it is getting easier, and more fun!!!